In the Lashon Hara study we saw that YHWH wants our speech to edify, unify, and build up the brethren. If our speech does not actively help bring the brothers and sisters into a deeper relationship with each other and into a closer walk with Him, then something is wrong, and we need to pray for more wisdom.

 

As a general rule, our speech should always glorify the Intercessor of the saints, rather than the Accuser (or Accurser) of the brethren. However, as we saw in the study on lashon hara, there are times when we are ethically required to say negative things.  For example, if we know that someone is a predator, or is selfish, we are ethically required to warn our brothers.

 

 

Warning someone so that they will not come to harm is the only legitimate reason for speaking negatively about a brother to a third party. Notice, however, that this principle also applies when speaking to a brother’s face: the only reason to speak negatively to him is to help save him from coming to harm.

 

Yeshua spoke lovingly-yet-acidly to the Pharisees in order to wake them up, so as to keep them from coming to harm in the Day of Judgment.

 

 

Yeshua’s words do not qualify as evil speech because not only were they spoken in love, but they were also seriously intended to help. It is this attitude of loving and seeking to help others which is our first key to understanding the Matthew Eighteen Process.

 

In an ideal world, we would only ever have to speak positive and uplifting things. However, because the world is imperfect YHWH permits us to say negative things, but only in the course of righting a wrong. Similarly, while YHWH ideally wants His people all to get along in perfect peace and harmony, some brothers and sisters are not safe to take into fellowship. Sadly, some of our believing brethren behave in ways that are inconsiderate, rude, hurtful and even harmful to others. Yeshua gives us a means of discreetly correcting those who are humble and willing to change, and a powerful peer pressure mechanism to encourage the hardened either to reform, or to be barred from fellowship.

 

The Matthew Eighteen Process is extremely powerful, and should only be used with the utmost of care. We need to remember that the goal is not to punish, but only to help a sinning brother repent. Ideally we need to rejoice when this process succeeds, and to mourn when it does not. 

 

Before we discuss the specifics of Matthew Eighteen, first let us also discuss the system of justice described in the Torah. Sometimes it is said the Tanach gives us a ‘masculine’ view of the covenant (which focuses on specifics and details), whereas the Apostolic Writings (the Brit Chadasha) give us perhaps a more ‘feminine’ view that explain the spiritual aspects of righteousness. First the Torah lays out a system of justice we are to follow whenever we live in the Land. Then Matthew Eighteen then shows us principles of justice we can use even when we do not have a Temple. However, the Matthew Eighteen Process will still apply even after we come back to the Land of Israel, because the principles always apply.

 

The Torah emphasizes the need to purge the camp of those who do not obey YHWH, by stoning.

 

However, notice that in order to qualify for the death penalty, the infraction has to be very serious. One reason adultery may qualify is that it breaks down the family unit, which is the basic building block of society.

 

Before we go further, let us note that the story of the woman caught in adultery (John 7:53 thru 8:11) does not appear in any of the four oldest Greek manuscripts, or in the Aramaic Peshitta or the Old Syriac. For this and several other reasons, many scholars believe John 7:53-8:11 was added only later. This is important, because the presence or absence of this passage can radically alter our vision of who Yeshua is, and how He wants us to behave.

 

Christianity alleges that the story of the woman caught in adultery proves that Yeshua taught a rather new and different Torah; but when we understand that this passage was a later addition, we can see that the Matthew Eighteen Process is really the same system of justice as laid out in the Torah, just transferred to the Melchizedekian Order (which does not need a physical Temple in which to operate). Thus the two systems are really just two different faces of the same system of justice that YHWH wants us to keep. Both of these systems apply when we live in the Land and have a standing Temple or Tabernacle, while the latter can still function even in the absence, because it focuses on principle, rather than on specifics.

 

The Torah specifies that we are to take all issues of justice before the priests and/or the judges who are appointed (or anointed) to serve in those days.

 

However, since YHWH knew His disciples would be expelled from the Land, and since they would not keep Torah while out in the nations, another means had to be given for establishing justice within the Body.

 

Matthew Eighteen, however, describes more than just the principles of justice. It also explains the correct attitude we are to seek, so that we also do not come into judgment before our good heavenly Father.

 

Before the great adult competition for power, status, money and sex begins, a child’s chief concern is an innocent desire for friendship. Children need a safe, stable environment in which to learn and grow; and it is precisely this environment that must be first established and then be safeguarded within the borders of Israel (if in the Land); or at least within the confines of fellowship (if we are in the Dispersion).

 

Before puberty, children are generally humble before adults, and they do not typically compete against them. While brethren might compete in an economic sense, we must avoid interpersonal competition between brothers. Instead we should humble ourselves, and focus upon hearing and obeying YHWH’s voice, so as to work out our own salvation in fear and in trembling.

 

One major goal of life is to be refined in the fire, so as to become more pleasing and pure before YHWH. Because of this, offenses and challenges must surely come. However, woe to us if those challenges or offenses come through us, for YHWH does not leave those who cause others to stumble unpunished.

Yeshua asks us to lay down our lives for His sake. In order to do this, we need to die completely to the lusts of our eyes, the lusts of our flesh, and the pride of our lives (which includes competition). It does no good to claim the blood of Yeshua unless we are willing to die to our ego, and whatever problems our ego might have.

We are not to despise even one of the ‘least’ of us. When one of our brothers strays into sin, our Good Shepherd searches for him until he is found; and then He rejoices greatly. Our good heavenly Father has more concern in that moment for the one who is lost than the one who is not lost. We see the same thing in the Parable of the Prodigal Son, where the Father’s concern is more toward the backslidden son (Ephraim) than to the faithful one (Judah). The reason all these things are all connected to the Matthew Eighteen process is that Yeshua then says, “Moreover….”

Notice:

 

1.     If you know your brother has sinned,

2.     Go speak to him humbly, and in private.

3.     If he humbles himself and hears you, then you and your brother can be restored to fellowship without any lashon hara, and no one’s reputation (or name) has been tarnished. This is the ideal.

4.     If your brother does not humble himself, and he does not yet hear you, then you are to take one or two or more who can explain to him, from Scripture, why what he did was wrong. Ideally these should be elders in the assembly, but not for authority’s sake. Those who have been in the word longer should (at least hypothetically) be calmer, more mature, and more able to help all parties arrive at an understanding of what Scripture says, in a completely Berean fashion. The idea is to establish YHWH’s righteousness, rather than any man’s authority. 

5.     If the accused believes he has done nothing wrong, it is vital that he has the opportunity to defend himself. Thus the idea here is not one of ‘ganging up’ on the accused party, or ‘outvoting’ him in any way, but only of brothers getting together to study the Scriptures, so as to see what YHWH’s word really tells us to do.

6.     If the accused still does not humble himself, and refuses to hear YHWH’s word, then for his sake (and in the name of fellowship) the matter needs to be brought before the people. In a smaller assembly all of the people might actually meet, while in larger assemblies, Judah traditionally convenes a formal beit din (court). No matter which means is used, it needs to be accessible to all of the people, as the emphasis is never on the imposition of authority structures, but only on discussing what YHWH wants in calmness and in love. The issues need to be brought to light, so they can become subject to scrutiny from the people. If there is anything that the sinner does not want made public, then he needs to make amends before things are made public, and his reputation (or his name) is tarnished. If the sin is serious enough (such as child abuse, adultery or some other evil) then the people can make a decision as to whether they feel they should remain in fellowship with him.

 

One reason this process is best handled by mature elders in the assembly is that it takes maturity to handle confrontation without allowing it to degenerate into open conflict (which Satan loves). Another reason is that while YHWH ideally wants His people to keep all of His Torah, the Torah is written at more than one level. Since none of us are perfect, and since the Ruach HaQodesh is the only one given the power to convict, the decision as to whether the assembly should turn out any given individual needs to be overseen by those with the necessary maturity to recognize that the focus cannot be on snooping out every sin of others, but only upon bringing the relevant facts to light, so that the body can make an informed decision by YHWH’s word.

 

Just as not every sin warrants death by stoning, not every matter calls for disfellowshipping. The line can be very difficult to determine, especially when dealing with Ephraimites in the Dispersion. Whereas matters were clear-cut in the Wilderness of Sinai, until all twelve tribes are safely back in the Land and our children are once again raised with Torah in the schools, it would be counter-productive in many cases to apply such a flat standard of obedience. As we discuss in the Nazarene Israel study, converts to the faith can enter the assemblies by agreeing to abstain from idolatry, adultery, blood and strangled (or unclean) meats; and if this is where the Apostles set the standard (in Acts Chapter Fifteen), we must not set any other standard for enjoining fellowship, for to do so would be to reject those that YHWH has called.

 

As we discuss elsewhere, Acts Chapter 6:1-6 and other passages show us that there must be higher standards for leaders and teachers. There is disagreement as to where those standards should ideally be set; but no matter where one sets those standards, because no two people agree exactly on how to interpret each and every point of Scripture, it logically follows that some matters are not worth breaking fellowship over. Unless there is some tolerance, there will be no fellowship, no unity, no assembly, and nobody within the Body.

 

 

Since YHWH leads and guides each of us differently, and because shunning from the Body is essentially the spiritual equivalent of death by stoning, the standard for disfellowship has to be set at death-penalty offenses. For example, fraud, adultery, murder, rape, lying, theft, abduction and the like are all serious ethical issues, and they indicate a lack of concern for others, which is a wrong spirit. Adultery shows a lack of regard for one’s spouse, one’s children, and for society in general. Those who commit such moral and spiritual crimes must repent of them, or else it is not safe for us to let them into our assemblies.

 

In contrast, whether or not a returning Ephraimite obeys the commandment to wear tzitziyot, whether or not he rests completely from doing business on the Sabbath, or if he does not see the harm in smoking, these things do not directly impact anyone else. While it can be argued that such a lack of fear and obedience puts his salvation in serious jeopardy, and that we should not want our children growing up around those who lack of fear and obedience, there have to be some forms of toleration made, or else one’s children will grow up with no fellowship at all (and hence they will have only the outside world to turn to). Therefore, some form of delicate balance must be achieved; and this delicate balance point is normally best established by respected elders in the assembly, who also have more life experience, and more time in the word.

 

Because each and every person is different, and because the situation within each and every assembly is different, taken to its logical end point, what all of this boils down to is simply whether the parties involved are hurting (or influencing) anyone more than themselves.

 

 

While we are not in control of the legal and/or judicial systems of the nations, sexual predators, murderers, drug dealers, unrepentant adulterers, rapists, liars and the like show disregard for others around them. Therefore it can never be safe to allow them into our fellowships, where spouses and children make friends, socialize, and relax. The assembly is supposed to be a ‘safe zone’ that is set apart from all of these kinds of ills. Therefore, for the good of all parties concerned, we must put those practicing these sins outside.

 

 

In this situation Shaul wrote to the assembly directly, perhaps performing the duties of a prophet, calling the people into repentance for allowing wanton sin. While Shaul did not follow the specific procedure, going first to the man in private, and then taking more witnesses, his letter still fulfills the spirit of Matthew Eighteen, which tells us that somehow or other, the people must be sure to take steps to put sin outside the set-apart place; or else the faith stands for nothing.

 

 

As we explain in the Nazarene Israel study, the actual language in the Greek reads differently than it does in most of the mainstream versions. It tells us that what the apostles bound or loosed would already have been bound or loosed in heaven.

 

The idea is not that human authorities have the right to bind whatever they wish: far from it. Rather, respected elders in the word should be listening attentively in the Spirit for His voice, so that they can bind or loose what YHWH is telling them to bind or loose, just like a judge such as Samuel would have done in ancient times. 

 

Notice also that verse 19 tells us that there need to be at least two or more judges, as practiced in the Jewish Beit Din. Thus it is as the Torah says: that those who are brought before the priests and/or the judges that are in those days shall obey what the priests and/or the judges have to say, for they are not to speak their own words. Rather, they are very carefully and fearfully to speak only what they hear from YHWH.

 

 

The idea behind having at least two or (preferably) three judges is to help remove any inherent prejudice or emotion that might be present if there was only one judge. Even with the best of intentions and the best of desires to serve YHWH, none of His servants is perfect such that it is best for him to make rulings on his own.

 

Notice that the standards for disfellowshipping are high. While it might be wise to question whether or not a man should teach if his marriage is on the rocks and his children all fall out of the faith, this should never be considered as grounds for disfellowship. While a man with difficulties at home perhaps should not teach, he is probably all the more in need of fellowship and help.

 

 

We all err in many things, and it is not for us to judge our brothers. It is true that we are to confront them in love whenever they do things that are hurtful, but apart from making decisions as to whether or not we can safely allow them into our fellowships, we are not to judge; and neither are we to hold grudges. If YHWH forgives us for all of the evil we have done (for which His Son had to die), then certainly we can forgive others whatever debts they owe us.

 

 

Forgiveness does not mean being a doormat. Yeshua tells us to put unrepentant sinners out of the assembly. However, even when people lie to us, cheat us, steal from us, murder, commit adultery or worse, once there is sincere repentance we must let them back into the fellowship, lest they be swallowed up in grief at being shunned; for it is not good for men to be alone.

 

 

If we punish beyond the minimums needed to bring the sinner to repentance then we have gone beyond intervention, and are essentially exacting revenge.

 

While we are never to be doormats, YHWH also tells us not to take revenge, or to bear any grudge. Instead, we are to forgive our brothers their offenses towards us, rising above the hurt and the pain in the moment of approaching them, just as Yeshua also did.

 

When dealing with our brothers, even when evil has been done to us, it is imperative that we look for the good, and stay focused on the positive. Because we realize that we ourselves are not perfect, we must err on the side of love and generosity: for with the same measure we use, so shall it be measured back to us.

 

 

If we will but establish and maintain YHWH’s standards for fellowship, then our families and children will have a safe and comfortable environment in which to learn and to grow. While we must put out those who prey upon others, and who cause problems within the fellowship, judgment is not ours; and neither is revenge. The only thing that is ours is to trust that YHWH our Elohim is in perfect and complete control of the universe, and that when it is His time, He will cause sinners to repent, and to turn back to Him.

 

Yeshua tells us that the first and great commandment is to love YHWH with all of our being; and the second is to love our neighbors as we love ourselves, and to treat them as we would want to be treated, were we them. The first is much easier than the second, for YHWH is always fair and kind with us, while our brothers, being imperfect, are not always so. Yet it is for this reason that the second commandment is all the more vital.

 

It is very difficult to establish and then to firmly maintain YHWH’s standards in all love. This challenge alone is worthy to refine us in the fire, and make us purer and more pleasing to Him.